The last couple of days have been frantic, to put it mildly. From the moment our eloquent President announced the very first Covid-19 case, life simply took a movie-like theme.
And I’m not talking about the feel-good warm and cushy movies.
It all started with an emergency meeting at my workplace.
My boss (Veronica), who brings a whole new meaning to the word detached, was looking a tad bit concerned.
I said a silent prayer as we convened ‘God please God, don’t let these things come anywhere near me or my loved ones, I still need to write a book, visit Anfield for a live match and make some babies…’
“Kev..are you with us?” Veronica asked while interrupting my earnest request to the man upstairs.
“Yes, yes I am” I responded.
She then went on to announce that we would all be taking compulsory leave following the pandemic.
You could hear a pin drop as everyone was waiting to hear the most important bit of the emergency briefing - was this the end? Would we be getting full salaries?
Sensing this, Veronica eased our fears by announcing that everything would remain as it was, but that we would be asked to do some work from home.
My phone started lighting up the moment the meeting was adjourned.
Mum: Hi….are you guys working from home yet? Hii Co-something ni serious
Me: Not yet mum but we have just…
Mum: Ati no, do they want you to die in the office
Me: hahaha I was just about to tell you that we’ve just gotten news that we’ll be on compulsory leave moving forward. At least until this thing clears out.
Mum: Oooh that’s good, talk to your sister when you can...I can’t seem to get a hold of her.
Me: Ok mum, bye…
She had a tendency of being extra but then again, I guess that’s a common trait among mothers.
I quickly cleared out my desk as I mapped out my plans for the foreseeable future in my head.
Heading up-country was a definite no, following recent orders to steer clear of the elderly….I realised I needed to stock up on my house supplies….
I quickly hailed a cab using one of those popular apps and within no time we were cruising along Red Hill Road on our way to the mall.
The stories the cab driver narrated warrant a story of their own- trying to squeeze an instance in which he almost jumped out of his car after his passenger started coughing his lungs out would be an injustice…
As he was airing out his slightly exaggerated stories, it hit me...my mum called to ask for some money I had promised her for one of her farming projects, but she was just too decent to ask….
How could I forget!!! Sidenote: I need to start writing stuff down.
Luckily, thanks to my significant other, I now knew how to send money straight from my MCo-op Cash to her M-Pesa account.
Once we got to the mall I used the same app to pay for the trip, I was hell-bent on following Uhuru’s directive of avoiding cash transactions at all costs.
That’s when I noticed the line at the entry to the supermarket- social distancing was a term that had somehow eluded this area.
Kate (the significant other I mentioned earlier on) was somewhere in among the crowd I was looking at- we were supposed to meet up but she texted earlier to inform me that she was already there.
I tried calling her but it just kept going straight to voicemail….was she ok? Had some hapless opportunists made away with her phone? Why hadn’t we just ordered for the necessary items online and used Co-op Visa Card we were so used to, to sort it out?
These questions were running through my mind when all of a sudden, the crowd started running in all directions, with a sizeable section coming straight at me…
As it turns out, some lady had collapsed while standing in line, and that was enough to spark mass panic.
In the middle of all the mayhem that looked like a scene right from a movie, I spotted Kate….
She was standing next to a security guard with a fearful expression on her face.
I hurriedly made my way to her -while trying my best to avoid coming into contact with the frantic runners - all those late nights watching kung fu movies finally paid off, as I slalomed my way with zero contact.
Her face lit up the moment she saw me...she almost hugged me but I assumed she remembered the whole social distancing thing.
Kate: Let's not be reckless….I can’t believe you found me...my phone died and then everything just seemed to go downhill from there.
Me: Sorry about all this. Let’s just get out of here...I said as I hailed a cab on my phone app once again.
Kate: We still need to get supplies. We can’t be sure when we’ll get this chance again...she said in a panicky tone.
Me: Don’t worry Kate….I have it all figured out ...I responded in a Superman-Esque tone….we have Co-op Visa Card...that’s all we need...we can just pick out items in the comfort of our sanitised apartment and have it delivered.
She gave me the ‘why on earth didn’t we do that in the first place look’.....
We were soon back home, where we did exactly that….I have to say, the convenience of going cashless proved to be a lifesaver - quite literally.
It’s now day 3 since the mandatory curfew was imposed...everything was going well until I remembered that my internet subscription was due…
Kate is always on my neck about forgetting stuff…. I just need to MCo-op Cash my way out of a potential argument….heaven knows we can’t afford to miss the next Maria episode….