I think it’s important to give some context from the onset of this story. Otherwise, I don’t think you’ll fully appreciate just how big of a deal this is for me.
I’m actually writing...sorry, I meant to say that I’m typing on my computer (my 26-year-old son calls it a laptop), but to me, they all fall under the computer category.
You see, I’m a 63-year-old wife, mother of one and hopefully a grandmother as soon as Brian (my son) stops fooling around with girls who need the internet just to make a cup of tea.
Don’t get me wrong, every generation has its pros and cons, but hii ya selfie takes the unified trophy when it comes to ‘pushing it to the extreme. But that’s a story for another day.
I am here to tell the story of how someone born back when our youthful president was toying around State House as a toddler, is currently the envy of my neighbours.
With this Coronavirus devil, I wonder where they even get the energy. However, you need to understand that when you get to a certain age, everything changes.
Priorities shift and your everyday routine now involves 9,789 Chama meetings, 798 church meetings and detailed gossip sessions with your inner circle about how your kids are doing...I may have exaggerated the figures but you get the gist.
The one thing we hang on to is our kids. If yours isn’t doing as well as he/she should, be warned. They are known to attack without fear.
Mama Mwende (one of my closest friends) was the victim of such an attack the other day. You see, Mwende is turning 30 this year and she is yet to make a trip home with ‘someone’ by her side.
Despite being a CEO at some software firm in Nairobi, her marital status is described to be as disastrous as walking into Mbagathi Hospital right now and rubbing your face vigorously after touching all surfaces.
So you can imagine what they say about my Brian. His last trip over Christmas brought the entire village home. He’s actually doing quite well career-wise, but his single status on Facebook has me worried.
During the said Christmas period, I tried to fix him up with Mueni (one of my other friend's kids who is just adorable), but, just like his father when we first met, he wouldn’t know the ‘real thing’ if it hit him squarely in the jaw.
All he did was play around with Simba (our warrior dog who belongs to no particular breed).
I pray for him every day.
Following the dusk-to-dawn curfew announced by the president, coupled with the social distancing rules, our daily gossip sessions shifted to my favourite application (Brian calls them apps), WhatsApp.
Now, you need to appreciate that this new technology thing is akin to rocket science to people from my era.
Back in the day, when you needed to talk to someone, walking over to wherever they were was the only option. Then the ingenious service referred to simply as Posta was born...then the rest followed.
It's amazing how much things have changed, from walking several kilometres to the river for life-giving water, to simply using my Airtel Money application to order for anything I may need and have it delivered to my gate...we don’t do doorstep deliveries huku upcountry...the gate is as far as you’ll get.
Thanks to my tech-savvy son, I’ve been able to keep up with any advancements (usually after a 1 hour or so explanations and re-explanations) that I find helpful for my ushagoo lifestyle and the mobile money app is right up there.
I was recently deeply engaged in one of those one-hour-or-so calls with Brian a couple of weeks ago. He was trying to explain a new service dubbed Me2U.
The moment he told me that it was an airtime-sharing service that would enable me to top up airtime directly to my friends' and family members' (the ones I like) phones, and also get 5% extra airtime while at it, I was hooked.
Just in case you don’t know this, us elderly’s love two things deeply.
- A good bargain/deal
- Anything that would paint us the village heroes
This is why I’m currently enjoying queen-like treatment on the WhatsApp group I mentioned earlier on.
You see, I was the first one to grasp this Me2U thing, consequently, I’ve been sharing airtime with akina Mama Mwende with so much ease, they actually call me mama dotcom…. I love being referred to as Mama Brian with every fibre in my being...but you have to admit mama dotcom has a nice feel to it.
All I had to do was: Select SIM menu, scroll to the Me2U feature where I found 2 options. I then clicked on the ‘Send airtime’ and voila! So simple yet so satisfying.
The icing on the cake is the fact that under this current coronavirus devil setting, sharing airtime not only saves my friends from the hustle of walking all the way the nearest shop which isn’t exactly close, but I’m potentially minimising their chances of running into this devil that stopped everything including our 3,798 church meetings.
I guess you could call me shujaa wa kijiji, but only if you think it fits.
Brian’s dad is finally awake, time for some morning tea. He recently told me one of his friend’s daughters graduated with a degree in Nutrition.
I need to dig out more info and see if I can hatch up a devious plan.
Alas, Brian is calling…
Me: Hello Brian...this is a pleasant surprise. Umevaa mask? Don’t go out of the house. Nimeskia kwa radio hii kitu ya shetani is in the air huko Nairobi. Have you had your breakfast?
Brian: Hahaha hello mum….yes I have done all those things...He says while chuckling…I was calling to let you know once this curfew thing is lifted, I’ll be coming over. There’s something important I need you guys to know…
Me: Trying my best not to sound excited. Let’s hope it's lifted soon. Your dad says hi...Let me call you back once we have some tea uniambie ata kidogo tu…
Brian laughs and hangs up…I can’t wait to get back to my WhatsApp group.