I had no idea I would be spending this time of the month with my mother-in-law.
Indeed if you had told me that I would be spending this Valentine’s Day with her - I wouldn't have believed you.
It’s not that I don't love her company. But it's not every day you have ‘Valentine’s with mum-in-law’ on your calendar
It's strange. Almost inconceivable just how much can change in 365 days.
Valentine 2020 was one of those dreamy ones for me and my wife Fatma.
After 14 blissful years of marriage, it was the first time we got to spend the entire day away from the kids.
Don't get me wrong. I love our 6-year-old twins (Faizul & Amina) to the moon and back a zillion times over.
However, I'm hoping some parents out there will back me up when I say that the first time you get a night to yourselves as a couple, post-kids, feels like cold velvety ice cream on a sunny day.
Complete with those rainbow sprinkle toppings.
That's the only way to describe our Valentine's date in 2020.
I had everything planned to a tee.
I booked one of those timbered cottages.
It stood on top of a little hill. Like a cupcake on a sugared plate.
It had walls like cold set oatmeal, painted white with mullioned window frames of mahogany, overlooking Kenya's most iconic mountain.
I could almost hear the gentle crackle of the hearth, with chairs pulled inward to the warmth as I flipped through the photos when making the reservation.
It looked as if it was straight out of a fairytale with a happy ending or a picture book for little kids.
It looked like so many things. It was rustic. Old. Welcoming.
From the moment I clicked on the photos, I knew Fatma would love it.
And for the best part..She had no idea what I was up to, right up to the very day.
Keeping my Co-op Visa card transaction history a secret for the entire week leading up to Valentine's Day was tough.
It was like trying to do the 100-meter dash while balancing an egg on a spoon using my weaker right hand.
Having known each other for most of our lives, she had a knack for knowing when I was hiding stuff from her.
"You should have pursued a career in the world of intelligence," I jokingly told her every time she caught on to my little schemes.
To avoid detection this time around, I had employed the services of my sister, Aisha.
The two had been friends long before I even started dating the woman who turned out to be ‘my one.’
There was no way she'd think Aisha would agree to be part of my elaborate scheme.
It worked like a charm. Aisha even agreed to invite us for brunch on D-day.
I can't find the words to describe the look on Fatma's face when she realised brunch was actually my cover.
It was the only way to ensure the twins got a sleepover with their favourite aunt, without spilling the beans.
We were soon off and on our way and to say the drive to Nanyuki was surreal, would be an understatement.
"How did you pull this off right under my nose?" she kept asking.
Still in shock.
"Haha. I take back all my recommendations for you to join the world of intelligence. Wangekufuta kazi after this," I joked in response.
I remember we spent the next 3 or so hours talking about everything under the sun.
From reminiscing on the day we met, to guessing what we thought the twins were up to, to her recent promotion.
She had just been appointed the head of a Nairobi based NGO that primarily dealt with environmental conservation...this is why I was dead sure she'd love the cosy cottage in the middle of nowhere.
Time seemed to whoosh by, and it was not long before we found ourselves at our destination.
She did her best not to tear up as we walked down a narrow dirt path with small pebbles. Next to it was a tiny pond with lily pads and a few ducks, maybe a frog or two.
A half-metre hedge surrounded the property. Vine grew up the arched wooden door with brown planks.
It was the definition of perfection.
We called to check on the kids after unpacking. Fatma also used the opportunity to let Aisha know what she thought about our little scheme.
"Have fun you two," Aisha said, amid hearty chuckles.
"We love you mum," our two lovable rascals cried out in unison in the background...
"You too dad," they added, of course after a lengthy and intentional pause...See why I call them lovable rascals.
It was a truly magical night.
The fireplace brought a dancing glow inside the cottage.
We cosied up right next to the flickering flames, and once again ended up talking and talking, and talking.
Adulting meant I also updated her on how the business was doing.
We had decided to take up one of those asset financing loans at Co-op Bank, which we used to buy our first food truck back in 2018.
A chef by profession...my gut feeling coupled with thorough market research, convinced me that although risky, it was the right time to take the leap of faith.
Business started out slow, but it soon took a turn for the better. We now had 3 vans operating around Nairobi.
"I'm really proud of you," she said in a tone that could have melted even the coldest of hearts.
I'm not the romantic mushy mushy kind of guy...something Fatma always used to tell me. But on that particular day, her face said all that needed to be said.
As we made our way back the following morning, I asked Fatma to include 'Visiting her mum' in our calendar.
My mother-in-law had been calling about the twins for long enough...and the kids had been demanding a visit to their grandma in equal measure.
"Inshallah," she said.
If I had known that that would be the last Valentine I would ever spend with her, I'd have found a way to stop time.
And just tell her how much her support meant to me.
How much I loved her weird grunty laughter.
How much joy she brought to my life.
I am yet to come to terms with her passing.
A drunk driver forced her off the road as she was heading to work barely a month since our trip, and that was it.
We laid the mother of my children to rest on the very day according to our customs and beliefs.
A part of me died and was laid to rest right next to her on that day too...I was a mess.
Then the pandemic struck.
I don't even know where I'd be right now were it not for Aisha and my lovable rascals.
Amina is a spitting image of her mum. So full of life. So cheeky. So happy.
She even has that weird grunty laughter...it always gets me.
Her brother is currently going through the 'understanding the world through questioning' stage of his life.
This has turned me into a makeshift teacher for the better part of last year.
They all pushed me to focus on the positives.
Back to my mother-in-law.
"Dad, Nyanya is how old?" Faizul asks, as we shop around for grandma’s gift.
I had received alert from Co-op regarding an offer in which using my ATM during the season of love came with lots of discounts & goodies.
Fatma would be proud.
Back to Faizul...
"67," I responded...I hope I got it right...I tell myself.
"Wow...so many years. And where is her Valentine?" he asks, in his impromptu Q&A.
At this point, it hits me...
Almost a year ago, I asked Fatma to plan a date for us with her mum.
"Inshallah," she said.
I just realised that with everything that happened last year, I actually never carried out our plans...
No wonder she was surprised when I called and asked if we could come over.
I make a silent promise to myself...and my late wife.
Treat each new day as a gift...
Inshallah.