What men can do on Valentine’s - uliza kiatu!
You see, a good lie always convinces us that women need only three things in life: food, water, and compliments. But the catch is that compliments come in varying degrees.
You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. I read this caption on a PSV someday as I headed to work.
I really wanted to impress Angela, the new girl who joined us at work last month, and after Njoki left me for her friend's ex-boyfriend.
However, karma or fate, or whatever we refer to, has a way to balance life. Njoki texted me for the first time in six months saying how much she misses me, and that she had parted ways with the guy.
A text yesterday, on Sunday, February 13, Valentine’s eve. Haa! I see you. I know what you are trying Njoki.
“We can meet in the evening and then head home to binge. I can also cook,” her text read, to be precise.
She actually knows the way to a man’s heart, the stomach. That girl can cook. I was almost tempted but…
Valentines is coming. Where is your boyfriend ?
Lyrics of the viral song doing rounds online kept sounding in my head. Njoki, am not buying into your mismentation (when you miss someone so much - ps - don’t look for this word in the dictionary).
Angela! Angela! Cupid had made me set my eyes on you.
I had picked my one-button brown suit from my omufundi in Kangemi, after weeks of arguments on the type of material, color and style I wanted it tailored.
Fragrance. The sweet scent of the local cologne I picked from the boutique in downtown Nairobi. Hmm! Perfume is a story in odor, sometimes poetry in memory.
I don't remember the cologne’s name. Strawberry, vanilla, mystic angel or something. All I recall is its color and that it was placed in a colorless refill bottle.
“She will love this one,” the seller at the boutique, with a fake smile, convinced me into buying it.
I trusted her advice. Women know what women want.
Into the lift and in the office, my package for Angela in my hands. A big smile on my face.
Straight into my department. Angela was kind of my boss but running another department.
“Adama, you ready to chill with the big boys?” Joel asked as I put my package on my desk.
“We are going for an all men hang out and you can’t miss this one,” Barry added.
“Lakini kijana si umepiga luku. Hii ni ya men’s out kweli ama kuna myengs unataka kunice eeeh. (But you are elegantly dressed. Are you going out with us or you are seeking to impress a lady?)” Adama probed as they all gathered to look into my package.
Barry opened the gift bag, looked into it and burst into laughter. Soon the whole department congregated.
“Oh boy, you are in love,” Jossy stated as they looked at the bottle of wine and a wrapped gift hamper.
“Are these mine,” she added.
“Come on guys, you will soon have the whole office here,” I cried foul.
“Kama hizi ni za Angela, hua hakunywi pombe (Angela doesn’t drink alcohol, that’s if these gifts are meant for her),” Joel, who I had confided in my idea for surprising Angela, spoke.
The story blew out. I looked at him with that look of umechoma picha (you have just embarrassed me) as everyone around broke into laughter.
Jossy pulled me aside. “I know what she loves and now that everyone is expecting you to gift her, I can help,” she whispered after calm was restored.
She also asked my team to keep it as a well-guarded secret.
“She loves flowers. Rose flowers, a mixed bouquet - red, white, and yellow. Her shoe size is 36 and she is in love with red stilettos,” Jossy described.
“Jeez, and how do you know all these,” I asked, cautious that she may prank me and I end up being a laughing stock again when I present the gifts.
“Boy. Trust women. We know.” That was all she stated.
“But I don’t have the cash right now and the weekly meeting is ahhh…”- I looked at my wristwatch…”30 minutes away,” I responded.
“But you have your Co-op bank account and your Co-op bank visa debit card too, right? Tumelipwa tu last week (We got our salaries last week), and even if you don’t have cash then you have it in your account,” Jossy jogged my memory and tagged me to a store block away from our office.
I had forgotten that my Co-op Visa Card allows me to spend without having to carry cash around. It is a transactional card. No need to queue at ATMs wasting valuable time to access cash.
With our gifts wrapped, we walked back into the office only to be surprised.
“The meeting was cancelled and I hear you have something for me,” Angela herself, standing near my desk.
Her perfume overpowered mine. Red gloss on her lips, classy in a red flattering dress.
“But we can break standards today and do this wine too,” she smiled as I gave her the flowers and the gift hamper.
“Dinner later on?” I asked.
“That is why I was dressed up ready for the occasion today. I knew something will come my way,” Angela stated as she headed into her office. She loved attention and attention loved her back and today they walked hand-hand, hitting her stilettos hard on the floor.
The whole office looking her way.
“Kijana umeangukia (You have at last found love),” Joel stated, tapping my shoulder, laughing.