A few months ago I scheduled a date with a long-time crush after weaving my way through days of “I’ll tell you when I’m free” texts and WhatsApp blueticks.
I didn’t care whether Sharon had run out of responses or she had finally seen the error of her ways and stopped delaying our destiny.
I was supposed to pick her up from her house in the depths of Kinoo, and she was gracious enough to warn me about the state of the roads in this wet season.
“Uki fika kwa Njuguna’s Petrol Station turn…” the line went dead as she gave me directions to her home on the morning of our date as I sped along Waiyaki Way.
“Is this a prank?” I thought to myself as I started looking for a place to park by the roadside since suddenly my journey had no destination now.
I waited a few minutes and thought, surely she must at least call again after the abrupt disconnection.
I decided to call her and I didn’t get to hear her Skiza tune before she answered. A good sign, I thought to myself as she started “Sorry my airtime ran out and I can’t get to the shop in the mud.”
After saving her the embarrassment, I told her where I was and asked her to give me point-by-point directions to where she lived. I asked her to stay on the line until she heard my signal (hooting at her gate) to get out of the house.
“That is not necessary, from where you are it will take at least 1 hour of driving through the mud and will consume a lot of your airtime. I could just give you landmarks and you call me when you get here” she offered.
I let out a laugh, trying to remember the last time I was worried about running out of airtime and proceeded to assure her that she was worth every dime I would spend. That got me on Sharon’s good graces.
When I finally reached where she lived, she hopped into my car and immediately her face turned red as she tried to utter the words “You’re so sweet, how much airtime did we use?”
I explained that I was on Safaricom’s PostPay plan and she didn’t have to worry about it. “I’ve heard about it but it is too much work for me to join,” she responded.
Being a gentleman, I walked her through the new easy way of enrolling which can be done via a USSD code *544# or through the MySafaricom app.
Since she had a smartphone I showed her how to join the postpay gang by clicking on the respective icon, entered her email address, selected a plan from the list, accepted the T&Cs and just like that her airtime problems were over.
“You see, anyone can join and the best thing is your minutes,data and SMSs have no expiry and you can call any network and make international calls to India, China, USA and Canada without additional charges,” I explained.
I started the car towards my surprise destination for the date and what followed next felt like a conversation with an eager first year student who had just joined the school of their dreams.
I explained that if her limit ran out, she would be charged Ksh2.30 a minute for calls and as for data, she could buy a suitable bundle on *544#.
Not wanting to seem uninteresting, every so often I would drive the conversation into another direction but she would always pop a question about her new call hack.
“Will I accumulate storo bonus by purchasing PostPay Bundles?” she asked “No, storo bonus is meant to give you more talk time which is already included in your new plan,” I made her see the sense.
In about 30 minutes, the hustle and bustle of the city was behind us and one could already tell from the change in the air and picturesque landscapes.
We branched off the main road towards a forested area which I had discovered during a long drive one Sunday afternoon. I felt like Christopher Columbus showing off his new discovery, never mind the locals who had lived there all their life.
Along the way we found a community roadblock and the elders dressed in red checked shukas told us we had to pay a fee to access the place. The money was to support the ecosystem they said. This was quite a surprise for me since the last time I was there I did not find them.
“By the way, the post paid plan has no hidden charges,” I told Sharon as I handed the ‘environment gatekeepers’ a Ksh 1,000 note and drove off.
“The bill will be sent to your email on the 3rd of every month. Please ensure you settle your bill by date 16 to avoid being disconnected.You will get SMS reminders just in case you forget,” I added.
She teased that I could always sambaza my airtime in case she exhausted hers but unfortunately I had to burst her bubble since that was not possible on the tariff.
“It's also not possible to subscribe to another postpay bundle within the same month.The good news is that you will receive alerts when you have 500MB, 75MB and 2MB left. You data manager will also help track your usage,” I added.
At this point I wasn’t sure Sharon was smiling at my wisdom,being out of the house after quarantining for so long or quietly approving my choice of location.
I liked that since we left her house, she had not prodded me about our destination which showed the level of trust she had in my choices.
After a long journey that led to the banks of what I told her was Lake Sharon, deep into the interiors of the forest, we alighted, stretched and unpacked my picnic starter pack.
Like she had done this 1,000 times before, she started arranging everything as I scouted the area for unwanted life forms such as dangerous animals or other members of our species.
I watched her quietly and boy was she earning major bonga points, just as she would using her new tariff.
We exchanged a lot over the french bread, sausage rolls and chicken drumsticks I had ordered and repackaged at home.
My bundles would definitely come in handy for watching cook shows after she made me promise to teach her the recipe which she thought was mine.
Just like that I knew that implied that this was not the last I would see Sharon, the date had been auto renewed for the next month even before it was over.
From then, everytime she receives a message from the dedicated 200 post pay service number, communicating that her bundle has been renewed, it reminds her of our first date.