Women, church and chamas go together.
In the digital era, Whatsapp groups have become an avenue for discussions, running businesses and a daily form of communication, and a majority of groups now find it easy to engage online than meet physically.
“Mama nani amenunua plot mpya leo (One woman just bought a new plot today)” my wife, Sera would always tell me, showing me photos shared in their groups.
“Lidya ameanza biashara mpya, alipata loan (Lidya secured a loan and has started a new business),” she’d disclose.
So when I found her laughing some day, chatting with her friends in their Whatsapp group, I was intrigued.
“I turned my data on and imagine 1,000 messages in our church choir group. This lady who sings Alto, Maggy, got married a year ago, and I think she has mistakenly sent some private information about their marriage.
“We’ve tried to call and text her but she’s unreachable,” my wife Sera added.
“What’s happening to their marriage?” I was interested.
“I think they have been having issues so she saw a counsellor or someone, maybe the pastor and was advised on some issues,” she added.
You know there’s a story my dad used to tell me, about how rocky marriages are after the first two to five years when the excitement starts fading.
“At that point is when you have to ask yourself why you got married. People drift apart for various reasons.
“You fall in love, get married, then realize that happily-ever-after needs a lot of work. A few years into marriage, couples find their relationship faltering. The marital relationship then turns to cars passing each other on highways but maintaining family schedules,” he’d advise.
I experienced the same with my wife after our first two years.
Young marriages, I tell you, demand a lot of dedication and sacrifice.
When people fall in love, they feel like they own the whole world, and then they start arguing about simple little things.
Why did you not put the toothpaste cap back on? Should the toilet paper go on the roll so that it can be pulled from the back or the front? Haaa.
Wait, even why do you sleep without saying goodnight? Why did you not call at lunchtime?
So, I asked Sera what it was that was troubling her friend and churchmate, just a year after marriage.
“She has sent a detailed note here, I guess she was sending it to her sister or someone.”
“Ahhh, that they had issues with savings and how to manage their small business.”
“Look here, this note reads.
I realized that at times I would bring up how I feel and he would brush my feelings aside. He worked so late and missed dinner. One big issue was agreeing on our savings plan. We need to expand our business.
So when we went for advice from our parents and pastor, we agreed on some issues.
We are young and need to work on ourselves, just like you sis.
First, we express our anger and frustration openly and discuss issues together.
Appreciate each other for milestones achieved.
Open a joint savings account.
Then also get an (MSME) Business Plus Loan from our Co-op bank to expand, they have an affordable repayment plan. We need to maximize the profit.
“You should see the comments over here,” my wife added as we laughed.
But then I paused for a while and asked her if she had read something on expanding a business.
“My dad spoke to us last week saying something on expanding the businesses too, right?” I asked Sera.
“Yes, huyu hapa anasema (She is saying) something on (MSME) Business Plus Loan from Co-op bank,” she added.
I was a Co-op bank regular, but my dad wasn’t. The good thing is that I read further on the bank’s website that, you can open an SME bank account then get a Co-op Micro, Small & Medium Enterprise (MSME) Business Plus Loan through the MCo-opCash App or via USD *667# and pay for your stock.
I left my wife with her chit-chat and called my dad straight away to discuss how to expand his agricultural business.
Good thing was that he had visited us and was in the CBD looking for ‘cash’ as he called it.
“Dad, you know via the MCo-opCash App, you can bank anytime and anywhere without physically visiting the bank. Co-op says that MSME loans are affordable. Just visit the nearest Co-op bank and see what they offer,” I texted him.
He sent an emoji then after an hour, indicated that indeed Co-op offers MSME Term Loan that can be repaid up to 60 months and that the quick mobile biashara loans can be accessed via MCo-opCash or *667#.
“Thank you, my son,” he wrote back.
“You know actually your friend’s marriage rules have assisted us too. Can we come up with ours,” I joked with Sera when I walked into the kitchen to make coffee.
“Come on, we are fine. We passed that stage. They are young and I hope they fix it early. She has left the group anyway, but we told her it's fine to share with us,” she added.
“We all need each other. I remember how I used to call my mum crying, saying how you have walked out of our argument,” she recalled.
“That’s part of life and we grow, make mistakes together,” I responded.
“Hey, are you still taking the kids out?” she asked. That was our Sunday afternoon routine.
“Yes, I don’t want to be discussed in your girls or church group,” I joked. “But let me first talk with dad, he sounds so excited at having secured the Co-op MSME Term Loan,” I added.