Human beings are social creatures. We are conditioned to coexist and be co-dependent. Thus, we have social groupings, building friendships and alliances.
Culture and tradition, too, defines social fabrics.
For instance, that all-familiar feeling of certain kinship towards a stranger using your mother tongue. It speaks of a similar origin.
Culture and tradition drive this affinity. It's likely that this person grew up around the same folk tales, staple foods and childhood games.
He'd most likely understand your plea to jump the queue at the bank, right?
Ditch the past, and cue in the present century - the cream of the generation lives in urban areas.
Friendships in the urban setting are largely free of tribal affiliations.
It's a mish-mash of cultivated lifestyles without regard to tribal leanings - assimilation of cultures. Hell, a whole section of the population hardly speaks their mother tongues.
What, then, defines city friendships and social groupings?
To be frank, the city is indifferent to friendships. Unkind. The city respects conformity, and convenience.
Or, rather, a city resident makes different friends, for alternate reasons and occasions.
There's the Work Friends.
Association is purely limited to the workplace. The boardroom meetings, the awkward nods in the elevator, the bump at the office tea corner.
One hardly knows where Stacy lives, or where Maina gets his (Luhya'esque) box hair cut - or, why.
A regular haircut would do just fine.
The only time the stiff office aura slightly mellows is around the annual office party, over Christmas.
There's the Drinking Friends.
This group is weird, particularly for the gents. A man will meet a random guy at a bar, say hello. One quips something nasty about some premier league team - or, offhardly diss a wayward nitwit politician's antics - an eternal friendship is forged.
Except, neither man knows the other's name.
It's always - Kiongozi, Mkubwa, Kinara, M'Gaddaffi.......
Then, men tend to worry about stuff on a bigger scope:
Who's likely to not make president?
What'd you buy first if you won a multi-million tender from the government?
What? No, Kiongozi...Instagram doesn't sell socialites.
In contrast, women on a first meet at the lounge largely dwell on trivials:
Are you not married at this age?
Doesn't your hubby cook family lunch on Sundays?
Hey, Debby, does your Kevin grab his phone when he's dropping a deuce?
Trust women to dwell on trivialities, instead of sampling what the gods of alcohol have to offer.
As a case study, city friendships do not hold for much. Quite a few times, it's a facade, illusions - and, it's heartbreaking that it all leans on money and income.
As a people, we have lost our souls. All we preach is money and hastily judge via the illusion of money.
A while back, I rented a tuxedo - like a friend's plus one to a corporate dinner. It was a long evening.
This dinner was plush with the country's corporate honchos, policymakers, opinion makers, media gurus, name it. I had expected the talk to range on global politics, crude oil fluctuations, African intellectual exports.....
Except, it was nothing remotely close.
Suddenly, I was around people whose language is money. The conversations at dinner - over sparkling cutlery, lamb chops and delicious Biriani rice - invariably circled back to bank accounts, credit cards and mistresses.
What kind of car do you drive?
Have you joined this-or-that club? I hear they reviewed annual membership fees to a million bob.....
A true friendship is full of laughter, not the stale patronizing ones - out of silly little nothings. A true friendship doesn't become an ego tussle. It's pure and free of banalities.
When you burst out in a sunny guff of laughter, it doesn't care if a piece of spinach is stuck on your upper teeth.
