Other than welcoming and holding their newborn babies in their hands, women adore baby showers too.
In fact, most of them plan for baby showers for months. From theme to dress code to a gender reveal, what food will be served and who will be invited. Some people even throw surprise baby showers for their expectant friends.
All in all, a new child is a bundle of joy and baby showers evoke emotions.
“A baby shower is one of the most traditional ways in which your loved ones come together to express their joy at your pregnancy,” my father told me when I was slightly hesitant to allow my wife, Carol, to have one.
It was our first pregnancy and I was so involved in it. I was worried just like her at times and also excited, but I didn’t have mood swings or cravings. Haa. Nonetheless, Carol nicknamed me ‘her expectant husband’.
“Most of us women have our baby showers later in their pregnancy because the risk of miscarriage is less. It also means your friends can chip in and assist you with items you missed buying or planning for,” my mother added.
Carol didn’t want a surprise baby shower. Psst! She hates surprises (read with a whisper. She may catch me telling her secrets).
She wanted to be involved in the planning, cross-check every minute detail, and oversee the decorations, theme and invite list. However, her friends, my sister and my cousins talked her out of it.
“However, babe!” She called me one night while we were watching TV at our home in an apartment at Cooperation along Waiyaki Way. We were watching some news on refugees at Kakuma and Dadaab.
“John, I am talking to you,” she said as I put my phone aside. She never calls me by my name unless she is pissed or serious.
“Yes, babe,” I said as I walked over to the sofa where she was resting. By then, she was 6 months pregnant.
“Am talking to you yet you are on the phone,” she looked at me quite disappointed. At that time, I heard my mother’s voice in my head. “Handle a pregnant woman with care. Watch out for their emotions and cravings.” I immediately apologised and kissed her on the forehead.
“There’s something I wish for my baby shower,” she requested and interrupted me when she saw me shaking my head. “Ah ah! Listen. I know I handed over the planning but I would still like the theme to be Barbie and have small bags with candies, cookies, or chocolate to thank each guest for coming.”
Who was I to decline? The next request got me thinking.
“And my ex requested to come too,” I was stunned.
“Okay,” she laughed. “I haven’t spoken to him in like 5 years. I was surprised to know that he is dating Margie, my new workmate and one of my best friends at work.”
I didn’t oppose it. As men, we talk less.
On the baby shower day, guests arrived at our home early bearing gifts, wrapped and unwrapped. Carol was seven months pregnant now.
Delicacies such as cookies, finger sandwiches (my best friend Derrick in fact made these the previous nights and tacos too), fruit and vegetable trays, cheese and crackers, mini quiches, and cupcakes. But non-alcoholic beverages, punch, lemonade, iced tea and homemade juice were the favourites.
It was during the gender reveal that Carol got us all by surprise. We had agreed to burst a balloon and we had two white ones, but one with pink powder (for a girl) and blue (for a boy). Actually, Carol’s friends were the ones who gave us the balloons.
As my friends were preparing to send money to her number or shower her with cash after the gender reveal, Carol held my hand and insisted that she had something to share. I immediately looked at her ex and wondered.
But that wasn’t it.
“Babe, you remember that night we were watching TV and there was some news about refugees at Kakuma and Dadaab camps,” she asked and I nodded.
“Guys. I love you all but my heart is broken knowing that we can spend this much yet refugee women and girls are victims of gender-based violence.
“Refugee women and girls are extremely vulnerable to rape, assault, and exploitation, especially during emergencies that cause mass displacement over a short period,” she said bringing us to near tears.
“What should we do,” Sharon, my sister asked.
“That day as I watched TV I learned that Safaricom and UNHCR, the UN Refugee Agency partnered to run the campaign #BongaForLife. This year, the #BongaForLife campaign calls upon Kenyans to donate to provide critical medical services, psychosocial counselling, and safe shelter for displaced women and girls who are victims of gender-based violence (GBV),” she stated.
“How do we donate baby girl,” Mariam, her boss, added.
Carol asked us to donate via M-Pesa, enter pay bill No: 329 378 and account: KENYANS
“Give generously guys, from Ksh100, 200, 500 or even Ksh1,000,” she added.
“But I don’t have cash here with me. How can I help,” Simon, our neighbour asked.
“Don’t worry Symo. You can donate your Bonga Points. Dial *126*20#. Select Option 2: UNHCR. Add your amount and complete the donation,” she stated.
We all moved in and pulled her into a hug as she thanked us for making her wish come true.
But we still had to do a gender reveal. Carol still had a surprise for all of us (except me). She pushed away the two balloons her friends gave her and brought out ours.
She burst it and out came a mixture of blue and pink powders.
“Hey, fam! We are having twins! Yeeeah!” She announced much to their surprise.