I was once caught between a rock, a hard place and an even bigger rock. I think the fact that it happened over Valentine’s last year may be the reason as to why I suddenly found myself taking a trip down a not-so-memorable lane.
The so-called day of love needs to be renamed to the boychild stress day, if we are being honest.
I’ve never quite understood the whole V-day excitement.
Why do we need a holiday to celebrate the individual and special love that two people have for one another? Why would you genuinely want your relationship to be lumped in with bucketloads of other peoples’ relationships?
It makes sense to me when couples max out their Co-op Visa cards on their anniversaries, the day they moved in together or the day they both realised that they were pro-BBI.
However, on this ‘special’ day where men activate their creative juices and shower their girls with chocolate and flowers - somehow we all end up buying chocolate and flowers, the world is not ready for our creative genius.
Anyway, my personal beliefs don’t really count on the 14th of February because I grew up in one of those female-dominated households - my mum and sister formed the base of the battalion, dad learned from his earlier days that when it comes to our significant others, chances are you’ll be taking Ls in most fights.
I carried this life long lesson with me. Come to think of it, it may be the single reason Belinda has stuck by me for 5 years and counting ...I apologise long before any contentious action or statement.
As you’re reading this, she has like 7 bonus apologies...better safe than sorry.
Last year, those apologies saved our relationship from a threat as serious as the coronavirus, my mother.
I once read that to a mother, a son is never a fully grown man; and a son is never a fully grown man until he understands and accepts this about his mother, but I never really internalised these words until last year.
Her phone call came out of the blues, and the reason for the call had me checking the caller ID to make sure it was actually her.
We are a tight-knit family, yes, but in all of my 30 years of existence, she had never, ever called to ask for a date.
I have bought my parents food, I’ve hang out with them over Christmas, but I’ve never marked Valentine’s Day with any of them.
It was the unwritten rule in my ‘bonus apologies’ relationship...v-day is our day...your mum can get Christmas, we can toss a coin on Easters..that’s how we planned our big days.
You can, therefore, picture Belinda’s face when she learned that my mum had called her kids (my sister and I) to her house in Ngong on Valentine’s Day for dinner under a cloud of mystery.
If eyes could kill, I’d be hanging out with my forefathers the moment I broke the news.
I was faced with a dilemma...mum or Belle....in my head it was a no-brainer, girlfriend came first in such scenarios...but there was something about the tone of my mum’s voice that tugged at my heartstrings.
If I couldn’t make it to Ngong', I promised myself that I’d get her something really special.
After a few hours surfing the web, I finally found what I was looking for and quickly used my Co-op Visa card to secure the package.
I had to get something for my younger sister as well, it was a cardinal rule I learned from father...you never buy one for her and leave out the other….that would trump Trump’s decision to sanction the murder of Iranian general Qassem Soleimani.
In a bid to strike a balance between all the women in my life, I decided I’d drive up to Ngong' a day before the ‘love day’ then spend the special day enjoying some candle-lit dinner (I’d already made my online reservation thanks to my Co-op Visa debit card) with Belinda…..during which I’d surprise her with my well thought out gift of Chocolate and flowers.
I’m not big on Valentine’s but I’m glad I had 3 women who actually wanted my company last year.
Flash forward to now ...Belle is out of the country until March ...I called my mum up in a bid to ask her to dinner ...apparently she has other plans…
Such is life...
