You wake up with a beautiful companion in bed. Last night was a blur. As you struggle to open your eyes against the blinding sun rays, you reach out to grab your phone. After fumbling for a while with no success, you grudgingly open your eyes to scan your surroundings. You can’t believe what you are seeing.
THIS IS NOT MY HOUSE! Where am I? You instantly sober up. You turn and take another look at her. She is a complete stranger. A gorgeous stranger. It’s comforting to know that even when completely drunk, you are still very discerning, or to be honest, this is exactly what your promiscuous friends would say.
You are still staring at her face. Her hair has fallen into a neat heap on the pillow, a few wayward strands cover her face. Even without makeup, she quite matches the aspirations of your dreams - your guilty conscience is momentarily shelved.
“Alfie? Where is my friend?” Bits and pieces of the previous night’s festivities begin to flood back. Where did he go? You remember the birthday party. You remember the drinks.
Finally, you decide to quietly sneak out of bed - a skill your buddies gloat to have mastered over the years - but you are a rookie. Only when you take your first step do you realize that you are indubitably unclothed. Consternation unbidden sets in.
Probably one of your most awkward moments ever. Your boys would, however, want to hear every instance of it. You are fumbling, this nightmare needs to end now...“where are my clothes?” For a moment, you try to recollect how you really ended up here and the prospects of a major blunder.
You have always been careful. Like some EPL fans, “You never walk alone”. You don’t take chances with your health. There is always a condom in your wallet - gambling with your well being has never really excited you.
She wakes up. She doesn’t seem as alarmed as you are. Did we? You manage to ask. She directs you to the sitting room where you find your clothes and other belongings. There is a box on the table. “Wait, is that a pregnancy kit?” You ask your host. “No silly” is her response.
The label reads “OraQuick” - what a relief! After such a fuzzy night, you still had the foresight to insist on grabbing HIV self-test kits on the way? After glancing at the results on the kits still lying on the table, you are instantly thrilled as your trepidation wears off.
You probably can relate all too well with this scenario in the escapades of your youthful exploration. But it is quite likely you have never considered reinforcing the protection you get from condoms with a quick HIV self-test or Kuchukua Selfie with your partner(s) before anything reckless happens.
Of course, a ceremonial selfie photo with your latest catch could be in order if you are so inclined, but even more important is to #ChukuaSelfie using the HIV self-testing kit that allows you to collect samples, conduct the test and obtain the results from the comfort and privacy of your own home within minutes.
OraQuick is a safe method to know your status without needlessly drawing blood. The kit is available online at MY DAWA and KASHA at a 15% discount.
Testing with OraQuick is a simple three-step process. First, swab the outer gums on the upper jaw. Repeat the process for the lower gums. Next, insert the pad into the vial for analysis. The results can be read in 20-30 minutes.
Discovering the Results
You are NEGATIVE IF there is only one line next to the C-LINE. Your status is POSITIVE if there is a line next to the C-LINE and another line next to the T-LINE. Even a very faint line next to the T-line could mean that you are positive.
IF NEGATIVE
Taking a Selfie helps you live freely and confidently. You will do some of your best work if you know there is no risk of contracting HIV. It leaves you free to express yourself. Don’t let your guard down. Insist on taking a Selfie to ensure you are protecting yourself and your partner.
IF POSITIVE
Sometimes life throws a curveball at you. The first thing you are advised to do is visit a clinic to get a confirmation in case you got a false positive. Decades ago, a positive HIV diagnosis was considered a death sentence. Nowadays, it is no longer the case, you can live a full, healthy and productive life by adhering to the freely-available anti-retroviral therapy (ART).
You might be wondering NINI NEXT?. You can CALL 1190 to speak to a counsellor discreetly. Because you have discovered your status early, ART will be much more effective. Through counselling, you will be guided on how to live a confident and happy life. Don’t let this discovery change your life.
You are so glad you insisted on the Selfie. You grab a shower and take a few swipes of her deodorant before you leave.
“When can I see you again stud?” She asks as you walk out the door. You mumble something as you thank your lucky stars. Hopefully, you won’t ever find yourself in this kind of awkwardness again.
#ChukuaSelfie my fren!
