Secret Video Recordings Expose Trouble in Kenyan Marriages

File image of a couple holding hands
A photo of a couple holding hands
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Videos recorded in secret and shared on social media platforms have shown a glimpse of troubled marriages in Kenyan homes.

One video, in particular, went viral on Tuesday, April 20, where the woman was accusing her husband of infidelity. She was uttering unprintables in the presence of the children who were getting ready for school.

The husband, on the other hand, took time to record the events as his wife hurled insults at him, occasionally throwing in a word or two. The video was shared multiple times with many wondering why the discussion was held in the presence of the children.

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An undated photo of a wedding convoy in Kenya
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Kenyans.co.ke talked to marriage counselor Benjamin Zulu who noted that the video portrayed a dysfunctional family. He stated that it was wrong for the couple to utter mean words in the presence of their children. He added that such vulgar insults could be very traumatizing for a child to an extent of damaging their whole lives.

Zulu added that it was also wrong for the man to record his wife in such a situation.

"When you expose your partner, you are also exposing yourself. Remember you chose this person so you are telling us how terrible your choices are," he opined.

The video rekindled memories of yet another recording that was shared multiple times on social media some time back. Here, a man and his wife were in the car arguing about a woman by the name Betty whom the wife suspected was in a relationship with her husband.

The wife insisted that she would not get off the vehicle until she met Betty to which her husband was not happy about. He insisted that she alights at the stage but she refused.

At one point, the husband threatened to report his wife to the police.

"You can take me to the police, I will tell them that you have strangled me," she was heard saying.

Zulu advised couples to take action in the event that they find their spouses cheating on them to avoid fatal outcomes.

"Once you notice a person has moved on to other people, part ways with them and save your life. Love triangles can be fatal," he counseled.

Data from the Public Service and Gender CS indicate that between January and March 2021, the ministry recorded 877 cases of gender-based violence. 

CS Margaret Kobia indicated that the high prevalence of these cases were recorded in Nairobi, Kakamega, Kisumu, Nakuru and Kiambu counties.

“We must all stand up against GBV through reporting, supporting victims and we must also discourage harmful and retrogressive cultural beliefs. I call on all Kenyans to be tolerant and to find appropriate ways of solving differences rather than resorting to violence,” she stated.

ODM leader Raila Odinga has also expressed concern over the recent spike in numbers of murders linked to relationships that have gone sour, acknowledging that too many lives were being lost.

"It is unfortunate that after winning their partner’s heart, instead of going on to cherish and love them, some suddenly turn physical, and at times horrifically end up killing them," he stated.

Public Service, Youth and Gender Affairs Cabinet Secretary Margaret Kobia
Public Service, Youth and Gender Affairs Cabinet Secretary Margaret Kobia
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