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Love is a hard thing to find, and in my case, it was more of an uphill task than any other person’s, having known Suzie to have that ‘out of your league’ aura.

I mean, she had the looks, the guts, the brains, and a body to die for, and many of us died to win her. Ask Jemo. He knows the torture in his soul. You can also ask Bonnie.

He went out of his way to induct her into the workspace in the hope that she would be sympathetically drawn to him but was rewarded with the ‘thank you so much for everything, brother.’ He is yet to recover from the shock.

Personally, I had chased after her for six months, and all the time she lumped me together with the other brothers in Christ. She would say that she was not looking to get into a relationship, and at times that she was done with men.

Dudes at the office keep telling me that my sense of humor makes me look like the most non-serious man and use my enduring singlehood to cement their assumptions, but well, all that was about to change.

On February 13, I jokingly taunted Suzie to tell me who her date for the much-touted Valentine's Day was, and she asked me if I wanted to take her out. A movie, she told me, would be enough for her that afternoon.

Friday the 14th was a day to behold from a boat ride in Uhuru Park, to Ice Cream Parlours, to amusement parks on the other side of the city, to a brief gallery visit, and by late evening, we were giggling like young boys and girls holding hands for the first time. Whatever happened, I knew that the day had been good.

“Let us go grab something to eat over there. It has always been my dream,” Suzie suggested.

I looked at the glowing lights coming into life in tandem with the sinking sun and felt my throat become parched. What on earth did she think I was? I had literally blown my remaining salary to make the day memorable, and there, an antithesis to the day.

“Tell her no. You know very well that you cannot afford it,” my long-suffering conscience warned.

“Yeah, that would be perfect. I have had that dream for a long time too,” I answered and followed past the slippery floor and the flowers and the aroma that would otherwise have made my tongue water. Instead, my eyes were on the verge of watering.

I knew that there wasn’t enough cash in my pocket since we hadn’t planned the hotel visit. I was thinking of telling her early enough that I was thinking about splitting the bill. Either way, I knew that I was going to lose her that day.

When I leaned in to inform her, however, I remembered that I had my  Co-op Visa Credit Card, and the cold that was in my body fled into the air.

“What would you like to have, my lady?” I asked in confidence.

When the waiter walked in with the trey, I took the card and played with it in my hand.

“Dinner is well sorted,” I told Lizzie.

Someday I’m going to marry that girl.

Leading betting firm, Betika, continued its investment in sports by deployed football kits, nets and balls to over 200 football teams across the country on Friday, February 7.

The firm, which has in recent times been viewed as the champion of sports in Kenya, issued the paraphernalia at Camp Toyoyo grounds in Makadara, Nairobi as part of its Betika Na Community initiative. 

The program aims to invest in the youth by nurturing talent through sports, arts and culture.

.“We are happy with the progress Betika na Community has made in transforming lives in Kenyan communities," John Mbatiah, the firm’s business head stated.

"Since we began the initiative, we have been overwhelmed by sponsorship and event requests from football teams and clubs all over the country requesting for support," he added.

He noted that despite already deploying team kits, footballs and nets to over 1,000 football teams across the country, there was still a long way to go in satisfying all requests.

Therefore, Mbatiah called upon other industry players and sports stakeholders to take up the challenge and join Betika in supporting all the teams.

He noted that the level of football talent in Kenya was improving and that the firm was committed to ensuring further development.

The firm hosted Jericho All-Stars and Kibera Black Stars to an exciting exhibition match after the kit handover exercises that saw the two teams walk away with Ksh 150,000 in prize money.

Betika has carried out and supported many sports initiatives across the country with its flagship Betika Na Community football tournaments in Machakos, Meru, Kisii, Nyamira, Kakamega and Kisumu since November 2019.

This is in addition to a three-year sponsorship of Betika National Super League in a Ksh100 million partnership deal with Federation of Kenya Football (FKF), which has seen an increase in the level of competition in the league.

On the night of Saturday, February 2, President Uhuru Kenyatta was captured dancing the night away during a UB40 concert held at the Carnivore Grounds in Nairobi. 

While this took some Kenyans by surprise, President Kenyatta has previously professed his love for the group and reggae music in multiple past interviews.

"I'm stuck in a certain age. My favourite musicians are UB40, Bob Marley and Gregory Isaacs," he told popular comedian Daniel 'Churchill' Ndambuki during an appearance on his TV show in 2011. 

In a 2017 interview with Radio Jambo presenter Daniel Githinji Mwangi, better known as Mbusii, and his co-host Cyrus ‘Liondeh’ Afune, Uhuru named Stir It Up, Redemption Song and Three Little Birds by Bob Marley as some of his favourite songs of all time.

Uhuru’s love affair with reggae is nothing unusual in Kenya where the genre truly blew up in the late '70s and '80s.

Clubs such as Monte Carlo Nightclub along Nairobi's Accra Road, Shashamane International and Hollywood Club built a reputation for themselves in the '80s with their reggae roots-themed nights, drawing fans in large numbers.

As Uhuru’s favourite artists such as Gregory Isaacs and UB40 were topping the charts, popular reggae DJs emerged, with the late Papa Lefty, Papa Charlie and Selector King Monday being considered among the pioneers.

Reggae took the country by storm and has undeniably influenced various facets of life from music, youth culture, religion and language with sheng (urban slang) borrowing several words and phrases from Jamaican patois.

In recent times, many of the world’s biggest reggae artists have performed in the country, with Kenya widely considered the leading African reggae destination. Chronixx, Richie Spice, Luciano, Jah Cure, Etana, Chris Martin, and Romain Virgo are among new-age reggae and dancehall sensations to have headlined shows in Kenya.

A concert billed as the biggest show of 2020 so far, will take place on Saturday, February 15 at the Kenyatta International Convention Centre (KICC) on with Grammy award-winning reggae legend Buju Banton set to headline.

Banton is a fan favourite among reggae lovers in the country with numerous timeless hits such as Destiny and Hills and Valleys.

Since his release from prison in 2018, after seven years in jail on drug-related charges, Buju has been making waves globally and his name has been the subject of many conversations.

His recent singles such as Trust and Holy Mountain, which incorporates global superstar DJ Khaled, have gained traction and created a new generation of Buju Banton fans.

In a conversation with Kenyans.co.ke, a highly-placed source at NRG Radio disclosed that the media station had gone all out to ensure revellers had the time of their lives at the show.

“Everyone attending can rest assured that they’ll be safe and they’ll have the best possible experience at the event. We haven’t left anything to chance.

“We’ve also contracted G4S for security and we’ve put arrangements in place to ensure amenities for revellers are easily accessible,” our source revealed.

Tickets for the event are available by dialling *229*99# or via ticketing website, Mookh, with various offers designed to suit your needs. This includes the 'Girlentines' and 'Mens Conference' offers in which one can buy two regular tickets and get one free all for Ksh 4,000.

Watch a video of Uhuru and opposition leader Raila Odinga dancing at the UB40 concert below:

Airtel Kenya is back with a brand new offer that could have other telecommunication giants quivering.

The company won the hearts of its customers once again with a brand new out of bundle data offer.

Customers will now be able to access a simple, no subscription, no expiry, Ksh 1 per 5mb data rate. A rate that translates to just 20 cents per mb of data.

And there’s more. Customers will also be able to call at Ksh 2 per minute by simply dialling *544*2#.

The communications company has also rolled out a brand new #SwitchToAirtel campaign, to create awareness and woo customers to shift from Airtel’s competition and utilise the new rates that have no conditions or expiry dates.

The new rate which makes data services easier to access is part of Airtel’s goal to stamp its mark as the most customer-friendly operator in the country, offering irresistible prices as well as fast and modern 4G network in the country.

Airtel continuously offers its customers the best value for money by meeting their communication needs. The company guarantees so by offering simple, transparent charges with no hidden costs, subscriptions or worries.

“Airtel understands that customers are wary of browsing out of bundle because of the high data costs. To alleviate these concerns, we are now offering all our customers the best in the market out of bundle data rate of Ksh1 per mb,” Airtel’s managing director Prasanta Das Sarma announced in a statement.

“With this rate, customers can browse freely even without a data manager as they need not worry about being charged more. From today, all customers are now accessing the internet on Airtel with the best rates that have no subscriptions and no expiry. Our customers can also enjoy the best call rates of 2 bob per minute by dialling *544*2#.” 

Airtel currently has the lowest out of bundle rates in the market at the moment. The market’s prevailing out of bundle rates is Ksh 4.3 per mb, which is 21.5 times higher than Airtel’s 20 cents per mb. 

It means that there should be no cause for concern even after one’s normal data bundle expire as the rates are quite fair.

Airtel announced the new out of bundle rates in early December 2019 and its competition is yet to give the offer a run for their money. 

It also announced in the same event, new amazing data bundles that offer data plus free WhatsApp and have a daily, weekly or monthly validity period. The new revamp offers 100 per cent more data for the same price.

The latest real estate trends are best described as a mixture of both positive and negative developments. For starters, the prices of real estate property continue to skyrocket, which is being driven by a variety of factors. Such factors include the looming economic downturn and the emergence of a new buyer demographic, in the form of Millennials.

However, some sectors are not that comfortable with the increase in home prices, expressing worries that a housing crash may be on the horizon. Over the last couple of years, the Kenyan economy has witnessed an exponential growth of the middle-class and this trend is likely to carry on to 2020 as the disposable incomes of more Kenyans are projected to increase.

The economic output affects many sectors including investments in the real estate sector. 2019 saw a number of developments in the industry such as the commencement of the Affordable Housing Programme (AHP) by the government, infrastructure development in many parts of the country and also the enactment of laws that affected the real estate sector.

In this article, we shall take a look at what will be carried forward and what trends are likely to change.

Rapid Urbanisation

The housing deficit currently stands at 200,000 units annually arising from a growing population, the demand mainly from an urban population living in slums and student accommodation. This explains the need for low-cost housing and a demand for bed-sitters and one-bedroomed units.

To fulfill the demand for low-cost housing, developers will deploy alternative building technologies that will ultimately reduce construction costs. For a real estate developer, innovative designs that use up space more efficiently will be a huge plus. Locating the units in areas where the cost of living is affordable is also a strategic move for this demographic.

At the same time, developers in satellite towns, e.g. Machakos, Kiambu will have to cater to change of preferences of the middle-class who are taking a liking for the live-work-play lifestyle. This trend has and will continue driving demand for master-planned communities for that holistic approach to living.

Many will opt to construct their own homes having purchased pieces of land in the neighboring towns.

Mortgage Jitters

Mortgage access to buy houses will be affected by the interest rates banks put on the loan facilities. The repeal of section 3B of the Banking that saw the scrapping of the cap on interest rates for banks in 2019, will definitely affect access to these loan facilities.

Banks will now have the authority to increase their interest rates as was the case in 2011 where mortgage rates averaged around 24% for medium-sized banks.

If the situation repeats itself, then loan facilities will greatly affect an individual's ability to purchase residential properties while at the same time reducing the market liquidity of real estate by making alternative investments more attractive to investors.

The Homely, Smart Office

Office spaces have also changed over time, with the need for modern facilities being a huge factor for businesses and organisations alike. Growing SMEs and the settling of multinational companies in Kenya which is considered a leading economic hub in Sub-Saharan Africa has driven demand for the office spaces.

Serviced offices have become popular with renters opting for offices fitted with modern facilities to have that home-like feel.

Smart offices where new building technologies such as green solutions that have been proven to increase employee productivity. Other amenities accommodated in a smart office such as an equipped gym and access ways for people with disabilities also factor in greatly in the development of modern office structures.

The retail space has seen the mall space increase exponentially with the development of Two Rivers Mall, The Hub, TRM and Garden City attracting both local and international brands. E-commerce companies such as Jumia and Glovo have also made their presence known by renting spaces for deliveries of their customers’ products.

The real estate sector is no stranger to technology. The industry is expected to continue adopting new tech in the coming years. Technologies that are expected to find applications in the sector include smart home tech, online home selling platforms, and apps. An uptick in the number of startups and high-technology companies servicing the sector is also on the horizon, with many paying close attention to making transactions faster.

Artificial intelligence is likewise expected to play a role in real estate with building organisation, design and management being eyed as potential areas of application. Also, machine learning is increasingly being used in public spaces concerning property design and urban planning. Even office space construction has been benefiting from AI use. Making matters even better is the fact that many property owners have been embracing the best facility management solutions to help them handle their properties.

The Smart Home

Property owners, landlords, and even builders are seeking to capitalise on amenities to attract new tenants. The staple gym and parking access, it seems, are no longer of critical importance as they are expected of most properties. Now, property owners are looking into offering unique amenities like communal gardens and movie theaters, among many others.

Smart homes are also making an entrance, courtesy of savvy real estate investors. Investors’push to provide amenities may very well signal the need to identify amenities that could have added value on their properties. They should likewise revisit their marketing strategies as amenities alone cannot attract tenants. All property offerings must be advertised while old tenants should know of any new amenities in the offing.

It is also essential to look at the cost of energy as its fluctuation can make the cost of producing building materials, transportation and construction either more expensive or more affordable.

On January 10, through the Kenya Gazette, the Energy and Petroleum Regulatory Authority announced that Kenyans would have to pay more for power as it increased the fuel energy cost charge and the water resource management authority levy. This cost will be passed down to the final buyer, thereby making housing units costly.

In summary, affordable housing, demand for modern office facilities and the steady growth of the retail sector will impact the real estate industry in the coming months as the sector remains a preferred investment option.

Author Info: Gitonga Muriithi is the Head Of Sales and Marketing Centum Real Estate.

County chairmen of the Bar Owners Association have threatened to move to court over the ongoing war where EABL moved to mop up its bottles, restricting distributors from interchanging them with other brands.

Addressing a press conference at Panafric Hotel on Wednesday, January 8, 2020, Kiambu County Chairman Richard Kagiri stated that the distributors were prepared to move to court over the battle for beer bottles.

Referring to EABL's decision to engrave its bottles, Ragiri stated, "If the point of contention was the use of the engraved bottle, then they should not use the other bottles that have not been engraved, but they are using both of them.

"We will have to take both companies (referring to EABL and KBL) to court to prove to us they are the patent holders of the bottles," he stated.

Charles Loidima, the chairman of the caucus meeting lamented that the current war was affecting their businesses.

"Our members are really suffering, where some have been arrested and charged with selling counterfeit products.

"We as bar owners have resolved to call for a consumers boycott against a manufacturer who wants to cause confusion in the market," he stated.

Keroche’s Summit beer bottles are similar to those of EABL’s White Cap and Balozi brands, making it easier for both brewers to interchange them.

The bar owners argue that the current tiff between the manufacturers will lead to an artificial shortage of bottles in the market that will affect the industry greatly.

They issued a 14-day ultimatum to KBL and EABL to address their grievances or else they will cease stocking their products.

Bill sits pensively in his living room armchair, thinking about the impending future. He has only so much left of his earnings. This festive season has been harder on him than he had contemplated.

Between being forced to host the family over Christmas yet again, (he is now the head of the family since his father passed away three years ago), and having to contribute to the unexpected death of Baba Ezekiel, the revered church elder, Bill’s savings have taken a serious walloping.

To be honest, he didn’t really mind hosting Christmas at his place, as it meant that his children were able to spend Christmas with their cousins, aunts, and uncles; and he quite liked continuing the tradition of nurturing a sense of community within his family. 

He just wished some of his siblings would have, at least, tried to contribute to the cost of the festivities. And as the family grew with the passing of the generations, it meant there were more mouths to feed, and with that, more money to be spent, not to mention additional idiosyncrasies to satisfy.

He had tried to bring up the subject of the expense of hosting Christmas every year with mama, but she just looked at him wide-eyed, appalled that he would even consider asking his family to pay for their food at Christmas.

He turns his gaze back to the TV that has been on mute the whole time, hoping to distract himself from the thought currently tormenting him. “I can only afford to take one of my children to school. The other is going to have to be left behind until I can figure something out.”

He takes a sip of beer and shakes his head as if he could literally shake the thought out of his mind. He forces himself to focus on what is on TV - a reality show of some sort, with lousy characters complaining about problems he could only dream of having. He switches it off. Reflexively he looks down at his phone, a habit he thinks he needs to stop doing ever so often. 

He begins to browse the internet, instinctively searching for solutions on Google, looking and hoping for any kind of means to get some money, instead of having to break the God-awful news to his twin girls. 

Between bouts of closing and opening new tabs, a Co-op ad banner pops up. He is introduced to the MCo-op Cash app that offers loans to all Co-operative Bank account holders. If there is one thing he now feels grateful for, it is that his father had taught him the importance of setting up and maintaining a bank account. 

He quickly exits Google and goes ahead to download the app onto his phone. All he needs to register for MCo-op Cash is a valid ID or Passport number, information about his account with a Co-op branch, and soon he is able to log into MCo-op Cash and apply for his loan! 

It is far simpler than he initially feared. He thought it would have required him to visit the bank and provide numerous documents, and then wait an inexplicably long time, only to be told “no” because of reasons x and y. 

He smiles to himself as he thinks about how far technology has come, and how easy it has become to take out a loan, in comparison to his own school days, when his father had to endure long waiting periods after coffee payments ran late.

With this new loan, Bill is able to take out a necessary loan to help pay school fees for both his children. They would now both be able to go to school, and he is spared the impossible conversation about why one child deserves to study more than the other. 

And with a hansome upper limit of the loan, Bill is not only able to pay their school fees but also purchase the necessary textbooks and the uniform they need to go back to school as well.

He can regain his smile now, his problems alleviated, knowing that his daughters could go to school for another year. MCo-op Cash app has really saved the day.

He places his phone down on the side table next to him and chuckles as he thinks to himself;

Next year's Christmas will be at, Margaret’s house. I’ll make sure of it.

A weekend getaway or a family trip outside Nairobi is the go-to plan for many but have you ever experienced the other side of the city?

The places where your selfies will speak volumes, the less-known destinations with views for days and with that rare ambiance that is recommended for the toughest migraines.

The tantalizing magic that is this city comes with an allure that captures all in its glow. From radiant blue skies to cordial people, to flashy matatus all the way to the idea of nature flowing through the almost always warm atmosphere, it would be an understatement to welcome you to the theatre of dreams.

What does Nairobi have to offer? you may ask… well

Nature and Green Spaces

One place you must visit if your desire is to enjoy the splendour of the green grass and the pure skies, is Karura forest.

Dubbed the joggers and bikers paradise, this green space is host to some incredible wildlife including monkeys, bucks, dik-dik, African civet cat, porcupines, and exotic bats. Where else in the city would you randomly encounter a harmless dik-dik?

If you are not in a position to go to Karura, then an equally good alternative is the Ngong Forest. ‘Let the land speak to you and spill its history with the winds that blow on the vast landscape.’

When the day is almost done and you want to see Nairobi transitioning from the busy, daylight town to a glorious ball of light, then you want to be at the Uhuru park.

City Sites

A favourite destination for families especially on Sundays, Uhuru Park has a charm that exceeds its many years.  The recreational park, is a welcome distraction from the bustle of the city - a glimmer of peace and quiet amidst the chaos associated with the Central Business District.

In the park, you can host a number of activities including boat riding at the artificial lake and also visit several historical monuments located all around the park. You can have a peaceful time with the one you love or just quiet time alone if you so desire.

Many have walked past Kenya National Archives but how many have walked into this historic building. You don’t have to be a history buff but with a little curiosity and a Ksh50 bob, you can have. Take your kids and explore the building and the artifacts.

The Nairobi Nightlife

In the dying light of the night, another part of Nairobi comes to life. If a drink-up is your thing, then in the city we swear by a number of the numerous clubs. Going to your local is great but if you want to meet new people and have new experiences, you can try out some of the many clubs in the city.

Simply search for the club on your preferred taxi-hailing app be it; Brew Bistro, J’s, Choices, Tribeka, Havana or the Alchemist. At each establishment, you are assured of the diverse mix cocktails and of premium brewed craft beer that the city has to offer.

The Mercury Lounge, for example, is a highly sophisticated cocktail bar with vague retro curves in the decor and a fine list of cocktails, and also food inspired by the Spanish tradition of Tapas and African cuisine.

A Visit to Nairobi is never complete without a K1 Klubhouse experience. Situated along Ojijo Road in Parklands, K1 is Nairobi's foremost entertainment point where locals meet for the best music along with the great atmosphere.

Quick tip! The clubs operate through the week with select days where they may events such as karaoke nights or special performances.

The clubs, however, are usually popping over the weekends- that’s Friday, Saturday nights. You can learn the new and hottest songs at the moment and you may even learn new lingo with the newest Gengeton craze.

Cuisine and Restaurants

You can make food an experience and give your taste buds a run for its money. 

If you are looking for fried fish or oriental cuisine, different restaurants offer different packages that are sure to have you licking your lips.

Some restaurants to try out are; Harvest, Ankole, Talisman, Mama Rocks, Mama Oliech, Abyssinia and Burger Hut.

From high-end restaurants like Villa Rosa Kempinski on Waiyaki Way and Lord Erroll in Runda, you can gain access to even cheaper but quality options like The Monarch Hotel and the Nairobi Upper Hill hotel.

Shopping in Nairobi

Spoil and treat yourself at the most talked-about shopping spots in the city.

The Sarit Centre, located on Karuna Road in Nairobi, is one of the largest shopping malls in East Africa. The Sarit Centre Expo Centre is a popular venue for international exhibitions as well as private functions and banquets. Over 25,000 visitors visit the Centre every day.

At Two Rivers Mall, you can experience shopping at another level by trying out the Ferris Wheel dubbed the Eye of Kenya. Standing at 60 meters high with 40 capsules of a six-passenger capacity each, the ferris was dubbed “the Eye of Kenya” and clinching the tallest wheel in Africa title.

With only Kshs 500, Kenyans can now spend 17 extraordinary minutes of their life on the wheel that provides exquisite and never seen before view of the very glamorous Nairobi skyline.

All the malls have distinct features for the perfect Sunday out with the family to enjoy and relax.

These are just but a glimpse into what Nairobi has to offer, discover your own hidden patches of heaven in this great city. There is no spirit of adventure Nairobi can’t accommodate.

I'm a huge safari enthusiast - to put it mildly. This is mostly because taking to the road, to places unknown, is an adventure; a true broadening of horizons; an education for the mind; and a rejuvenation of the soul.

I can't quite point out where my passion for the great outdoors began, but I'm pretty sure dad's ritual of having Nat Geo as the default channel had something to do with it.

Anyway, last year, for my birthday, I decided to treat myself by taking a trip to the land of my forefathers - Ukambani.

I would have taken bae along, but she opted out, going on and on about her wanting me to take in all my cultural heritage without her distractions - but between you and me, I think she was just scared of the heat. Don't tell her I said that.

So there I was, fully kitted out in brand new khakis, one of those Tembea Kenya T-shirts, my camera and a pair of binoculars in hand.

Yes, I carried plenty of water knowing I was heading to Ukambani - there, we are almost done with all the Ukambani jokes. But I'll throw in a voodoo joke later on, so be on the lookout - Now back to my trip.

Machakos

I was happy to watch Nairobi disappear from my rearview mirror as I cruised along Mombasa Road towards my first destination, Machakos.

I have nothing against the capital, but any chance I get to leave all that traffic, honking and the occasional run-in with the police behind, is a chance I welcome with open arms.

Which is why I was smiling from ear to ear when I saw the huge 'Welcome to Machakos County' billboard.

It had taken me an hour and a half - mostly due to the crazy Nairobi traffic I mentioned earlier on.

Anyway, I was finally here. Back where it all started for me and my kin, a century or so ago - or, in the least, according to recorded history.

I couldn't help but imagine what must have been running through the mind of the locals when the British established their first-ever upcountry administrative centre back in 1889.

Kyamwilu Hill

These were the questions burning through my mind as I made my way to a famous hill, lured by countless tales of its wonder. I'm talking about Kyamwilu Hill, where the laws of gravity take a backseat, or so I heard.

Thanks to uncle Google, I discovered a route so scenic, it looked like a painting straight out of Van Gogh's collections.

I opted for this route that ran right along the Mua Hills. Here, terraced slopes, lush green maize fields and views out to Lukenya to the west, and Machakos to the east, make for a breathtaking drive.

Tales are one thing, but seeing a 10-tonne truck slowly roll uphill with its transmission in neutral mode is something else.

Unconvinced and partly thinking this was some sort of local voodoo - that's the last stereotypical Kamba joke I promise - I placed my own bottle of water on the tarmacked road and watched in amazement as it made its way uphill!

This was too much for me and it was all I thought as I made my way downhill to Machakos Town or was it uphill.

I made a quick stop at the T.Tot hotel whose samosas were the stuff of legend - or at least that's what bae told me despite her never having set foot in Ukambani.

However, I'm happy to report that the rumors were quite true, for once.

Kitui

It was about midday and I was now ready to embark on the second phase of my road trip, with the actual town where my father was born, and his father before him, and his...you catch my drift. Kitui.

I did make another quick stop in Wamunyu - a town famous for its wood sculptors, and their carvings are even better than advertised.

It took me about an hour or so to get to Kitui Town and what immediately stood out for me was a humongous rock that simply refused to disappear from view as I drove into town.

As it turns out, this is Nzambani rock. The name may not ring a bell to most, but its story is well known.

Legend has it that, if you make your way around it 7 times, your sex changes! This was my first stop but I definitely didn't try going around it - I'm quite happy being with my gender, Thank you.

Locally known as 'Ivia ya Nzambani', it’s a stone outcrop standing approximately 183m above the ground. The rock is situated about 8km from Kitui town along the rough Kitui-Mutitu road.

It took me about 45 minutes to go up the rock. Atop, I got a spectacular 360-degree view of Kitui County. 

Knackered for the day, I made my way to my grandmas - a place I hadn't visited in ages.

As you can imagine, I was given a welcome that would make the president jealous, complete with all sorts of food and drinks - I think my granny thinks I'm skinny.

Anyway, after the ululations and merrymaking, I sat down with my grandma and asked her to explain the whole Nzambani mystery.

"There was nothing here. It was a forest where people came to graze and look for firewood, but one day, three girls came looking for firewood, and one of the girls found a round stone, which she picked and hid in her chest so she could take it to her grandparents to use for pounding tobacco," she said.

The girls donned the traditional goatskin dress of the time. After some time, the girl realised it was growing big and heavy, and she had to stop collecting firewood. When the rest of the girls came, they found that their friend had turned into a rock from the neck down.

Her name was Nzambaa. She told her friends what happened and requested they help her, but they were not able as it was already getting dark and dangerous out with wild animals all over.

Grandma then went on to tell me that the girls went to Nzambaa's home and narrated to her parents, who went together with them and also tried to save the daughter, but it proved impossible.

Elders then met and sacrificed a black sheep, which also failed to rescue her.

The next day, they came back and found she had completely turned to rock. That is how Nzambani came to existence.

She capped off the chilling tale by telling me that the place has been used as a sacrificial place ever since, especially during prolonged dry spells.

This trip certainly turned out to be one of my best yet, and I hadn't even gotten to visit Kitui's famous Tsavo East National Park!

I turned in for the day - after exchanging some sweet nothings with bae for half an hour of course.

I was up and early the next day, and after bidding my gazillion relatives goodbye - plus carefully placing the 20-litre jerrican of porridge grandma so kindly gifted me in the car, it was time to go dine with the lions at one of Kenya's most-famous parks - the Tsavo.

The Tsavos

To say I saved the best for last would be a massive understatement.

Just to help paint you a picture of how vast this particular park is, it's actually located over four districts; Kitui, Taita Taveta, Tana River, as well as Makueni - which just happened to be the last town I had set out to visit in my grand Ukambani tour.

Once I got to the park, I had to employ the services of a tour guide. A middle-aged gentleman named Mutiso who had one of those distinctive moustaches - every time he smiled, it looked as if the tips of his neatly groomed beard touched his ears.

Anyway, Mutiso is one of those walking encyclopedias when it comes to nature. One look at a drop of poo and he'd tell you a herd of 12 elephants was 12.6km away and that one of them was 4 months pregnant - I kid you not!

He made my tour quite enjoyable, with his countless pearls of wisdom.

"The Tsavos are popular for their scenic features, that includes the Mudanda rocks, Lugard Falls, the Yatta plateau (It is about 290Km long and is one of the worlds longest lava flows), Aruba dam (which was built in 1952 across the Voi river and attracts many animals and water birds)," was one of the lines he dropped in his eloquent English - probably because he realised that despite my last name, I couldn't speak Kamba to save a kitten's life.

I can't quite find the words to express my Tsavo experience. It was beyond magical and by the end of it, I was lucky enough to have seen the famous big 5!

I even got to visit the famous man-eaters' cave!

"The name 'Man-Eaters of Tsavo' came about when; way back In March 1898 the British were building a railway bridge over the Tsavo River. Over the next nine months, two large male lions killed and ate nearly 140 railway workers. Before work could resume the lions had to be eliminated," Mutiso explained, in a tone so chilling I could swear I felt the presence of the 2 lions right there and then.

As we parted ways, Mutiso advised me to be on the lookout for wild animals crossing the road - I was now in Makueni.

Makueni

A town bursting with life and teeming with culture.

Still on that 'game drive high', I made my way to Wote (the capital of Makueni), where I had my late lunch while gazing at the beautiful Chyulu Hills which serenaded the landscape.

It was almost time to bring my grand tour to an end, but I made one last stop in Kalamba village after a very friendly waitress, who went by the name Mwende, informed me that a certain AIC church built there was worth a detour.

As it turns out, she was actually talking about the first-ever AIC missionary church constructed by a certain Peter Cameron Scott back in 1895!

After countless selfies, it was time to head back to Nairobi, back to all the traffic, honking and extra friendly police.

The trip was definitely one of those that will stay with me till I'm old and grey. Bae said I came back a changed man...but she has a tendency to exaggerate - again, don't tell her I said that.

Kenya's northeastern region features the country's best-kept secret.

Three destinations: Maralal, Loiyangalani and Western Turkana, that are breathtakingly beautiful, with landscape scenes that look like canvas paintings.

Maralal marks the beginning of the Great Northern wilderness and the staging post for many great adventures. This modest yet culturally rich town is a thriving centre for the local Samburu people

Beyond this first outpost lies some of Kenya’s most beautiful yet unexplored territory. The broad arid plains give way to the spectacular Loroghi Hills and the high, wild Matthews ranges. 

The untamed country between Maralal and Turkana is ideal for the adventure seeker, you need to have a curious spirit to tackle this great expanse.

Here in these vast empty spaces, there is freedom to explore and lose yourself in the wild.

Driving time from Nairobi is approximately 6 hours. 

Loiyangalani, on the other hand, is a good base for exploring the South Island National Park by boat.

As the name suggests, this particular town can be described as the cultural capital of the magical northeastern expanse.

El Molo Bay is home to Kenya’s smallest tribe, the El Molo. 

One of the last true hunter-gatherer communities, the El Molo are centered on this small bay known for its crocodiles.

The best part of this particular town is that you can get yourself immersed in the pure and unadulterated local culture.

Outside influence has been slow to reach this distant frontier, and the El Molo, Turkana and other communities along the Lakeshores still live lives dictated by tradition, myth and custom passed on from generation to generation.

In many places here, life continues unchanged as it has for centuries.

About 60KM further north, lies the beautiful Eliye Springs, home to spring-fed oases, large crocodile populations, and many small Turkana villages, ushering you into the great Western Turkana.

If you travel to this part of the country, you are bound to run the  Lobolo that is over 285km on a rough road from the Lodwar e.g. Eliye Springs resort, Cradle Camp Tented Camp, Malabo camp and Oasis and several private and community campsites.  Attractions - Heritage & Culture, archaeology and tour of Islands in L. Turkana

There are several lakes within the region, each with its own unique ecology- and flamingoes, crocodiles and varied species of water birds are found here.

The delicate ecological balance of this region has recently been facing its greatest challenge yet, an ever-increasing human population. 

However, a boost in tourism in the area could be the impetus needed to promote preservation and appreciation by future generations of intrepid travellers.

For those who yearn to reach these ventures in the unknown, there is no better way to do it than to just dive into Kenya's great north frontier…

#TembeaKenya